Shirley Flight #6, The Great Bullion Mystery

I hate to quote Red from That 70s Show, but seriously, sometimes Shirley is a total dumb ass. She's surrounded by even dumber people, which is about the only reason she gets away with it.

And end rant. In this book, Shirley has taken a temporary assignment on a "flying boat" or amphibious plane, going from Southampton to Canada, by way of Reykjavik. At the last minute, they're loaded up with special cargo: 500,000 pounds in gold bullion. Mrs. Dellery, another of those mean old ladies with a heart of gold, is Shirley's special charge. Mrs. Dellery is extremely demanding (she has Shirley sit with her, then pumps her for information about herself), which earns her a lot of grief from the obnoxiously, annoyingly chauvinist steward, since this prevents Shirley from assisting with the rest of the on-flight duties. Mrs. Dellery also attempts to smuggle a small gun onboard, which causes further conflict between Shirley and the steward over what to do.

Once in Reykjavik, Mrs. Dellery somehow convinces Shirley to ride with her and a menacing chauffeur to her house outside of town. Stranger danger, Shirley! I got so frustrated with Shirley after this point--everytime she rightfully gets her hackles up, someone (usually Mrs. Dellery [or *spoiler* one of her alter egos]) offers her a stupid explanation, that she swallows hook, line, and sinker. From at least the car ride, Mrs. Dellery is clearly up to no good, but Shirley ignores her instincts until she's taken prisoner in the house and ordered to remove her uniform. She does so and hides. Once the other two give up on finding her and leave the house, she finds an empty wheelchair and a grey wig. Shocker! Mrs. Dellery is not really crippled or elderly!

Somehow Shirley gets out of the house, determined to make it back to the plane before it leaves Reykjavik. There's a genuinely tense struggle in the Geyser Plateau that I really enjoyed. She's walking and spots the evil chauffeur and decides to lure him out of the car to steal it. She deliberately shows herself, then leads him on a dangerous chase through the steam and snow and hidden boiling springs. She manages to get the car and make it back to the plane but can't convince the guard that she's really a flight attendant, since she's wearing native costume. She also sees someone who looks exactly like her, wearing her uniform. Finally they're convinced and let her onboard.

Once on the plane, a girl claiming to be an Icelandic flight attendant getting training shows up unexpectedly. In a Transcontinental uniform. And Shirley's not at all suspicious. For real. Until she sees a British passport poking out of the girl's bag, and even then, she tries to think of an innocent explanation. She does start getting suspicious about a group of mining engineers, but when she tries to tell the obnoxious steward, he refuses to listen. And it's too much of a breach in protocol for her to directly approach the flight crew. She finally decides to open the engineers' cargo for proof, but of course by the time she finds the tommy guns, it's too late to go for help. They take over the plane. The female impersonator is really the male leader of a notorious gang, who plans to leave them abandoned in middle-of-nowhere frozen Canada. Luckily, Shirley uses the equivalent of knock-out drops from the first aid kit to spike their coffee. They're captured, the crew and passengers are rescued, and Shirley is vindicated in front of the steward. Since she's somewhat less dumb than everyone else.

• While there's a huge amount of guards for the loading of the gold, there's absolutely no security on board the plane. NADA.
• I hated the character of the steward. He's even more stupid than Shirley, impossible to please, and takes bribes. He won't report Shirley's suspicions because he would have to admit that he (a.)took a bribe and (b.)helped smuggle a gun into Iceland. I know he's supposed to be seen as a silly villain, but he was extremely annoying.
• I need to find pictures of old planes. This book mentions a bar, tables, card games, etc.
  
• The gang leader is described as short and slight, a master disguise artist. I can vaguely believe that he could make himself up convincingly as an old woman, but not as a gorgeous young girl.

I've been a bit disappointed in the Shirley Flight books so far, especially considering how much I enjoy other World Distributors series (Sara Gay Model Girl, Sally Baxter Girl Reporter) and the early Vicki Barr books. Next up is Escape by Night, which I admit was not much like The Dormitory Mystery.