Shirley Flight #1, Air Hostess

The latest misfortune to befall my electronics involved me dropping my camera's rechargeable lithium battery down an air vent. So until the new one gets here, I'm stuck reviewing books of which I already have pictures on my computer. Thus you get Shirley Flight, Air Hostess.

Shirley is an overachieving multilinguial librarian/part time probationary nurse who still lives with her parents. In the opening pages, she receives news that she's been selected for an interview for Transcontinental Air Lines (TCAL). Switching things up nicely from Vicki Barr, it's her mom who's a nervous wreck, while her father is all into it. Obviously, she aces the interview, as well as surviving the eight week training course.

Along the way, she acquires a new pal, redhead Wendy Moreland, the daughter of a Secret Service man/diplomat. Naturally, they're dragged into international intrigue involving stolen Italian government documents. On the smaller scale, there is plenty of the sort of melodrama that can only abound with large amounts of girls/women. I'm a nurse, I know what I'm talking about here. She also meets First Officer Tony Garland, who remains her mysteriously platonic love interest for the rest of the series. He's portrayed as tall and awkward, and, yeah, I have a weakness. Too bad he's kind of a moron.

Of course, Shirley manages to save the document, Tony, Wendy, and, dare I say, the security of the world. How Nancy Drew of her. Too bad I prefer the vulnerability of Judy and Trixie. Which really sums up my opinion of this book: while I liked it more than The Great Bullion Mystery or Desert Adventure, Shirley is just too much of a Mary Sue character for me to empathize with her.

• I really was turned off by Shirley's mom, better known as Mumsie. She's the quintessential 50s mom, with no life outside her daughter and husband. She says things like, "You know what a bear he can be if his breakfast isn't done just how he likes it." Which somehow reflects more on her than on her husband. I normally love series book moms (or housekeepers as the case may be), but Mumsie gives off moron vibes.
• Moreso than Sara Gay or Sally Baxter, I had to look up a lot of Britishisms. Just so you know, a "rasher" is a thin fried slice of bacon/ham, "Lancashire hot pot" sounds suspiciously like American pot roast (only mutton/lamb) and veggies, and a "prang" is a crash. Or cocaine, depending on the decade. I'll let you guess which it is in this story.
• There is lots of great fashion. Shirley wears a "trim terylene suit and half-length sheepskin coat," while her socialite coursemate wears a "natty line in half-length flying coats with a broad white lambswool collar." Lola, the countess/spy (love it!) channels her inner Madonna with a "startling leopard skin coat with fingerless black netting gloves." At one point Wendy buys "multi glitter sandals" and wears "a fluffy pullover and tailor-made jeans."
  
• They go to a dance at a club, where Wendy "daringly matched her red hair with a sheeny and romantically fully-skirted evening frock and satin pumps of the same vivid hue, with the whole ensemble given a little additional hint of glamour with crossed low-sweeping shoulder bands and a waist girdle with a chic bow and dangling ends of narrow strips designed in gold and emerald-blue. Glittering brooches pinned to the pumps drew the eyes down to full length." I thought it rated its own bullet point.
• This book had an obvious wit that I enjoyed. Their instructor self-deprecatingly says that, "One of the first duties of an air hostess is to learn to stay awake, even in the most provocative of circumstances,"--the provoking element being his teaching.
  
• Lola-Madonna says, "If my blood is blue, then it is probably cigarette smoke." Love. It.
• Wendy calls herself and Shirley "the pals of the two crossed fingers." You know, like when you cross two of your fingers, and say, "We're like THIS." I'm borrowing this at first opportunity.
• The second girl to get dismissed is constantly hounded for being a leftie. She gets "remonstrance" when she attempts to use her left hand, and it's cited as one of the reasons for her clumsiness and why she's kicked off the island. I thought this went out with the Victorians, but apparently I was wrong.
  
• At one point they're put into a decompression chamber to see how they'll react if the plane loses pressure at high altitudes. The tattletale girl they nickname Snooper has hidden a past history of neurasthenia, and she goes totally crackers once her mask is off.
• Shirley is a Mary Sue's Mary Sue. Who wouldn't be a little internally pleased if your arch-enemy turned out to be a bit of a nutter? Hint: not Shirley. Not only does Shirley never do anything wrong, the only time she ever gets in trouble is when she's covering for someone else. Shirley, you're not a Christ figure. Please stop. No one can relate to you. And while you probably assumed this, she does rescue a child from soon-to-be fiery wreckage. *eye roll*
  
• And in a final note, Shirley Flight has the most hideous, middle-aged tranny cover art of any of the World Distributors series. However, I think the blue airplane boards are adorable.
  

So, while this book definitely had more charm than the other two titles I've read in this series, it still suffered from the same failures as the other two. Namely, that Shirley has no personality and an unusually high percentage of the characters suffer from what a lot of romance readers refer to as TSTL: Too Stupid To Live. I have another title, The Flying Doctor, but apparently I should avoid making predictions about what I'll be reviewing next. You all like surprises, no?